Hey, Little boy, you can’t go where the others do.  Because you don’t look like they do… Hey old man, how can you stand to think that way???  Did you really think about it before you made the rules?  That’s just the way it is.  Some things will never change… Oh, now, don’t you believe it.


just the way it is

Maybe my stance on LGBT rights comes to me because my closest cousin is a lesbian.  We grew up together.  She’s the sister of my heart.  When my cup is too full, she’s the guy I call.  Maybe it’s because my first significant other was a bisexual man… Maybe it’s because I can’t see hating someone based on how they use their genitals with other consenting adults.

gay bar


I have been spending time with people who do not share my beliefs. These are genuinely nice people who just don’t think like I do. They’re scared.  Different is scary, in a way I would not have understood had I not been hanging with people who can only see things one way.  Jesus saves, boys and girls…. Except for the part where he doesn’t.  I have always believed that homophobia stems from a person’s own inner desires… but now I think that ignorance breeds fear.  Dear gracious universe, am I ever glad that I don’t have to listen to that garbage anymore.


The primary, noticeable difference between my cousin and I is that she lays down with girls and I lay down with boys. My appearance is feminine, for the most part.  I like to sparkle.  She usually sports a buzz cut and wants to know if that sparkly shit gets in my eyes.   Now let’s talk about how we’re alike.  We’re both ridiculously loyal to our loved ones.  Love to cook, enjoy hanging out with family and friends.  We both like to shoot things… we both like venison, bubble baths and fireballs.  But we have sex differently.  Alert the media.  The potty controversy is bringing this post on, because it breaks my goddamn heart that I have to be scared for this woman that I love to use a public toilet right now.  Because she doesn’t look like I do.

lesbian lips

So… there are things that I am willing to really fight for, and equality for all is one of them.  LGBT people are not really different.  People have always had sexual differences, the difference is that now we talk about it.  Gender identity doesn’t equal sexual predator.  Fifty years ago, being a survivor of domestic violence would be something to be ashamed of… today, when I spend the month of October talking about my experiences, I am lauded.  The world is full of closets to hide in…. in all shapes and sizes.   I’d love for you to read this particular blog, because she says it so much better than I do…  and I agree.   Stand tall and proud, boys, because it never occurred to you to give a damn about the safety of women and children until somebody made it about dicks.

Your Silence Is Deafening: An Open Letter To the Target Boycotters


American Made

So lately I’ve been getting a lot of information about PTSD… the soldier’s nemesis.  Survivors of abuse also often suffer from PTSD and people who have been through traumatic events.  If you’ve never flashed back to a really bad moment and been unable to shake it off, count your lucky stars.  PTSD is a lot of things, but in my experience what happens is that some trigger flips a switch in your head and you are there again.  Right back to your personal hell, like it’s happening at that very moment.  It sucks in a way that can’t be described.  You avoid situations that are likely to be triggering.  Sometimes, that’s going to sleep at night because of the nightmares.


Miss Shannon hopes to be Dr. Shannon someday…. Yes, you should probably be alarmed by this.  It was suggested to me that I specialize in PTSD, but I’m afraid that won’t be possible.  For military people, in particular, I think they need each other.  I can empathize all I want to, I don’t get it and I won’t get it.  Because I wasn’t there. Are you aware that studies show that Adderall and PTSD are linked???? This matters because we are deliberately giving our soldiers study drugs so they can perform better in their roles…. Which causes an increased incidence in PTSD. Essentially, the drug causes an increase in the imprint of the traumatic event.  Better imprinting is great for calculus, but maybe not so much for watching your best friend’s head get blown off.  Please view this study:  PTSD and Study Drugs  There are many additional scholarly articles that are supporting this information, if you want to google it.


I do a lot of just yapping on this blog, because I’m a champion yapper and while I hope it gives you a giggle, I’m not overly concerned with saving the world.  But I really want you to read that study.  It was published by the Pentagon.  Hmm.  This suggests to me that our government is highly aware that study drugs are actually increasing the incidence and severity of PTSD in our military personnel.  Yet… there is no decrease in the amount prescribed because those same drugs will keep the soldier (sorry, Marines, I need a general word) awake and functional for lengthy periods of time.  So, what we’re saying is that it’s OK to cause lifelong mental illness and suffering so that this person (because no other person can do it) can hold a weapon for 23 hours instead of 18.  Maybe we should stop drinking the Kool Aid, hmm?



Then, just for kicks, let’s bring these people that we drugged and caused life long suffering in back to our shores and tell them to have at it.  This is why we have homeless vets, which is just bullshit.    This is why 22 veterans commit suicide each and every day.  We are the richest nation on Earth… I don’t believe we can’t do better.  But, dammit. If we are going to deliberately break them, we need to provide real and lasting support.  Our soldiers are moms and dads, they are somebody’s sons and daughters.

soldier dad


So for all the vets out there…I happen to know one or two read my crazy…. Thank you for my personal freedom.  Thank you that I don’t get up and put on a burka.  Thank you that I don’t have to say Heil, Hitler.  Thank you that I can look at a blow hard and say, “Get your hand out of my vagina.”  Thank you, personally, because your blood, sweat and tears make it possible for some ass hat to prattle on about how much he hates America.  Yeah, I want to kick his ass, too.  The American soldier makes that possible.  And I am sorry, from the bottom of my heart, that you are being drugged to make you a better military machine.


I’m divorced.  Really, truly divorced.  It’s like the judicial system just righted a wrong for me…. I married him when I was 29 after many years of living together, then delivered number five.  When I was thirty-five I met him at the door and said, I’m sorry I don’t love you anymore.


There were a lot of things that led up to that moment.  The naked chick on my living room floor was really quite memorable.  Let’s talk about gas lighting for a second… Gas lighting is a psychological abuse technique used in domestic violence situations.  (Your partner does not have to hit you to be an abuser, kids.)  It’s basically the process of deliberately making your partner feel like they’re crazy, like they can’t trust their own perceptions.  In this specific instance, it was insisting over and over that the chick wasn’t naked, I was imagining that.  Umm, no, I can see her.  She’s naked.  It’s like telling me the sky is green.



It’s blue, dammit.  I can see it with my own two eyes.  Blue.  The fucking sky is blue.  And that chick was naked, just like the girl who used to leave notes on my van did not have the wrong address.  My ex-husband (That gives me a little chortle; ex-husband, ex-husband, lol) remarried this very daySlán agus beannacht leat.  Which is Gaelic for goodbye and blessings be with you.  I hope they both put a penny in their shoe!


So… to celebrate my personal freedom, I’m spending the weekend with Good Time Charlie in Republican Land.  So far, so good… rode the Harley.  My mind is just about made up to get one for my very own.  I would like a Heritage Softail Classic, in electric blue.  Starting at $18, 349.  I totally want it.  Dream big, baby.  Good Time Charlie suggests this: 


Anyway, the trick to getting along with Republicans is to pretend you are Switzerland.  It’s OK to discuss anything you agree with them about… like my constitutional right to firearms.  My advice is to avoid discussion of other issues, particularly if you feel strongly about it.  Oh, great universe, please prevent me from telling another anti-choice gentleman to get his hands out of my vagina.  Do not engage, Miss Shannon.


Life is good today.

It’s funny… I’ve been thinking big thoughts about pretty much every area of my life just lately.  My life doesn’t suck as it is… but I’ve been feeling kinda, oh what’s the word?  Discontented?  Freaking stressed out?  Tired?  Yes.  Yes, those are words for this.

pixie dust

Now and then, I have to remind myself that I am still in charge of my destination.  This is true even when I have too much to drink and need my mama to drive me to Good Time Charlie’s while I sing Charlie Daniels and dance in the front seat listening to her say, you’re just like your father.  And I really am.  Even then, I am giving directions!!  So make a right here, Ma, and if you win that debate, there’s a special place in heaven for you.


Which brings me to… biblical law.  Hehe.  Apparently, somewhere in that big old book it says that because my husband cheated on me and broke his vows, he is now on the hook for every sin I ever commit.  So my mother is telling me this… I know she’s feeling great relief because surely, surely her youngest daughter is preparing to burn on the lake of fire for all eternity and all I can say is, “ You mean there’s hope for the whore of Babylon after all???”

gates of hell

My poor mother:


So anyway…I’m changing it up.  I’m going to finish my degree this fall and daycare is going to days only starting in about two weeks.  I’m also looking forward to my divorce being final (probably not as much as my nearly departed is, as the next set of nuptials is scheduled for this Saturday. The best part of this is that in no way did I do anything to impede it.  It’s just karma) My first grandchild, who I am totally stealing, was born a few weeks ago.  Mine, mine, mine!!  She wears tutus and sparkles, just like she should.  Life is good today.


Fuck you, I’m with….

OK…. You may have caught on that Miss Shannon has been seeing a fellow.  He mostly doesn’t make these hallowed pages because he’s not egregious…. Which is a welcome change.  We’re going to call him Good Time Charlie With a Harley, because it would give him an apoplectic fit to be actually named.  Like, every time I say I’m working on the blog he says, “Is it about me???”


I don’t blame him.  I probably wouldn’t love it either, were I in fear of being flamed here.  But… Miss Shannon never names names if it’s a negative thing, because people deserve second chances.  And she never flames people she likes.  🙂  Even JC is going to like this one, lol, and that’s saying something.  But… you’re so vain… I bet you think this blog is about you, don’t you, don’t you…. So this one’s for you, baby.

carly simon

Lately, I’ve been getting seriously entertaining instruction about how to behave at a bike rally.  Now… Miss Shannon has a lovely set of manners with which she could meet the Queen of England or the Queen of any MC.  Please know, Miss Shannon cut her teeth in places like Mother’s … and if she can hold her own with Hells Angels, she can hold her own anywhere.  Because bikers are just people.  Sons of Anarchy is just a television show.  Most people like me.



Now, it must have been the clouds in my coffee…. But this is like Roadhouse… I will be nice until it’s time to not be nice.  And I will know when it’s time to say, Fuck you, I’m with Good Time Charlie With a Harley.  Which is usually sometime around the time some biker thinks he’s God’s gift to women and puts his hands on my person.  Most are respectful and will not behave that way.


Now you don’t have to call me darlin’, darlin’…. But why don’t you ever call me by my name??  Because I don’t really want a bitch pass.  (That’s what they call it, girls.  A Bitch Pass.  Ooh, ooh, pick me!!)  Some women can sit on the back of a bike and maintain their class.  It is entirely possible and most manage it.  This is my advice:  If you act like a lady, that’s how they’ll treat you.   This is David Allen Coe:

david allen coe

Tonight I will conclude with the idea that women are equal to men.  We’re different, to be sure.  If something can be taken two ways and one of them is bad… I will take it the bad way, every time.  Men want you to take it the good way… regardless of their original intention.  Now if that ain’t country, it’s a damn good joke…


Politics, politics

Miss Shannon did not have a very nice weekend. She is talking about herself in the third person again, and you know that’s never a good thing.  It was rough because she spent the weekend with card carrying Republicans.  Miss Shannon does not align herself with a particular political party because she thinks they are all fruit loops and wackadoos.  Miss Shannon is not wrong.

fruit loop

Now, Miss Shannon will defend your right (to the death) to bear arms, to say whatever the hell you want to say, to only carry a pregnancy to term if it’s your wish.  Remember, kids, Miss Shannon has a whole tribe of kids.  No one is proabortion.  A woman needs an abortion like an animal needs to chew its leg off to get out of a trap.  And you aren’t really prolife if you oppose feeding those same kids you want brought into the world… you’re just antichoice.  Once again, remove your hand from my vagina and worry about yourself.


Just to clarify…. Miss Shannon has a major issue with each and every political candidate.  I will list them for you.  Trump:  Misogynistic bastard with zero respect for women…  kick off your shoes and get your ass in the kitchen where it belongs, girls.  And, how, pray, is this guy with very bad hair going to completely disperse the national debt?  Oh, that’s right, he’s not.  Come on, Cinderella, get your head out of the clouds.  Now, I don’t care who Ted Cruz is shtupping.  That’s none of my beeswax.  But he is antichoice and I mind that.  And the wall thing is just stupid.  Bernie is a very cool guy… but, he will never ever push that agenda through.  This is America.  Not going to happen.  Hillary… now I want to like her, because she’s a chick.  But I can’t.  Not because of Benghazi, which is wretched.  Not because of the myriad of stupid decisions she’s made.  Miss Shannon makes stupid decisions like it’s her job.  It’s because when her old man raped women, her response is to try to discredit and silence them.  Women who hate other women are a rare and dangerous breed.


The moon is a waning crescent today.   Scoff if you will, but if the moon can pull the ocean, it can pull you.  It signifies change, and a strong suggestion to rely on yourself.  Back to Republicans…. If you guys are going to unilaterally announce that everyone but yourselves is an idiot, please be grammatically correct when you do so.  Because you look like an asshole.  And stupid.  And, well, you’d like to run my country, which frankly, alarms me.  I would like someone smarter than me to do that.  Please and thank you.


I know there should be some titillating sexual escapade in here, but I am fresh out.  Miss Shannon is just treading water, like all the rest of you.  This is what we have learned this week:  No one likes to be told their needs don’t matter.  Miss Shannon is no exception to this rule…so gentlemen callers, take heed.  Miss Shannon is either priority 1… yes, 1, or she isn’t.  Miss Shannon has a gypsy soul.  It’s the shiny, sparkly things that do it for her.  I ended a marriage because the man ordered me the wrong beer.  Because if I have been with you off and on since I was thirteen, you should know what I drink.  Don’t think I won’t end a relationship if I think I’m not top on your list.