Ahhh, Facebook and dating a conservative republican. I’m not really a democrat. Charlie says I’m a libertarian… which makes me think of a librarian, but I digress. Which is kinda why I blog. Here’s Miss Shannon’s politics in a nutshell: Stop killing each other. There are way more entertaining hobbies. Let the rednecks (of which I am a card carrying member) have their guns. Stop killing each other. Let the owner of the vagina decide what does and does not happen there… it’s none of your business. Peeing is also a private activity – which I would like to remind the young lady who peed in the bushes across the street, is best done PRIVATELY. If it’s not directly affecting you and is related to an intimate activity, mind your own business. Oh, and for fuck’s sake, stop killing each other.
Sadly, I dared express the opinion that I hate the memes that make fun of Hillary Clinton’s clothes. I’m Irish…not a hell of a lot offends me. See previous paragraph. The reason it bothers me is the same reason it bothered me when Michelle Obama (don’t love her, but she has great taste in clothes) was vilified for wearing a sleeveless dress, and the same reason I could give two shits if Melania Trump gets nakey for pictures. I admit I find it humorous that the same conservatives who expressed shock and dismay for bare arms are A-OK with nakey. Anyhow… it’s irrelevant. Hillary Clinton is an insidious, evil woman. Kk. Let’s talk about the atrocities, the funny money and the list of the dead. Not the fact that she isn’t as hot as Melania Trump. Not that her taste in clothes sucks… and it does, it really does. Dear Mother Earth… why is it your daughters, who should be revered, are instead brought down to the level of pretty vs. not. I then dared say that I hope my daughters and my granddaughter (who is the cutest little button ever, ever) will not be on trial for their looks should ever choose to run for office.
Holy fuck balls, Batman…. I hope my daughters are treated with the bare minimum of respect that would be afforded a male opponent. When I made this comment, I sure as fuck wasn’t hoping the blow hard on the other end of the post was going to jump in and “raise my kids.” Fuck you and your closed mindedness. And yet… he immediately told me I should ‘parent’ my children by turning off the internet and monitoring their tv viewing. OK, asshat, my daughters are grown adults. I’m not censoring anything for them. They are all, every single one, gainfully employed and making forward steps in their lives. Even when I don’t agree with them, I feel like I’ve done a good job as a mother because I have given them a voice. Go forth and fuck up. Heaven knows I did. For the rest of their lives, they will have someone to fall back on as long as there is breath in my body. Can Mr. Veteran Proud, Tried and True say the same? IDK… are his little girls growing up to be ladylike Stepford wives?? Because I think they’re in trouble if they’re not!
For the record, Miss Shannon is grateful for every American Veteran that walks this earth. Once again… thanks that I don’t say Heil Hitler, wear a burqa and that I can tell you to fuck yourself when it’s warranted. And it really is, cupcake. Further, Jiminy Cricket as a write in is sounding pretty goddamned good. I am seriously considering abstaining from voting because I cannot vote for either candidate in good conscience. Jiminy Cricket it is!!!
Miss Shannon was absolutely born into poverty with parents who taught that women had a place. (I love you, Ma, but you totally did. I know you’ve reformed.) But this is America. One of the many reasons I love this country is that I didn’t have to stay that way. Once upon a time, somebody told me I could do more, be better and they made me believe them. Thanks, Ari. So… I’ll keep fighting the fight, I’ll keep telling little girls they can be anything they can conceive of. I’ll keep saying that sexist memes are wrong. I will continue to tell people to get their hands out of my vagina and that rape jokes are not funny. I’d like to make a couple little points to my political enthusiast pals out there…. Because you guys are like rabid dogs sometimes. There is a middle ground to every argument. If you think only your opinion is valid, then you are an imbecile which I mean in the clinical sense. That would be true even if you served in the military, which actually doesn’t give you supernatural powers of foresight and wisdom. PTSD, maybe, and the absolute right to the gratitude of the American People. No superpowers.
For the benefit of window lickers everywhere: It is actually possible to have a pleasant discourse with a person you disagree with. Sometimes, when you do that, you might even give the other party food for thought and the ability see another viewpoint. When you saddle up, refuse to consider anything they are actually saying and let your eyeballs bug out of your head, you just make them think you’re a stupid blow hard who is following their party line, rather than the deeply concerned, passionate individual you would like to think you are. Because, umm… you are acting like a stupid blow hard.
Now… let’s talk about my friend Shawna. Shawna is a fairly conservative, Christian republican. Shawna is prolife in a very, very big way. We’ve chatted about it. I’m prochoice in a very, very big way. I am definitely flexible in my theological viewpoint, kinda middle of the road politically and yet…. Shawna and I can be friends. This is because Shawna and Shannon can disagree with one another’s viewpoints without a burning urge to stab each other in the eye with a fork. Some call it socializing. And manners. I call it being American enough to know that people are allowed to have opinions that differ. Shawna is with me on whether or not it’s low class to make fun of a woman’s appearance because you dislike her politics. This is true, even though we’re talking about Hillary Clinton, who we both quite dislike. On account of our mutual desire to be afforded the same basic rights as penises everywhere. Which is not a request for special treatment, kinda like thinking we shouldn’t get paid 78 cents on the dollar for the same job as a man isn’t really beyond the pale. Now, Shawna makes one hell of a batch of chocolate chip cookies, but I still say her place is anywhere she wants it to be.
This is Shawna and her husband, who has never treated me with less than respect despite the fact that we have different beliefs:
When I hang out in Republican Land, I like to say… I am Switzerland. But I’m not… I have thoughts and opinions and they matter. I’m getting tired of the blank, stupid smile I put on my face when I don’t agree with the conversation around me. Miss Shannon has smarticles…. And she wishes people didn’t need to divide everything along party lines.