Courage is….

Somebody pissed in my cheerios yesterday.  If you are on my Facebook page, you are probably aware of that.  I never really care what anyone’s faith is… if your religion makes you a kinder, more generous person, I consider it a good thing. You need me to feel like hell because I don’t sit in the same pew?  I’m afraid that won’t be possible.  These days, I place my faith in me… my own steadfastness and willingness to fight for what I believe to be good and righteous in this world.  Miss Shannon usually wants to fight for women and children…the poor, the marginalized.  We get a raw deal.  As socially liberal, hippie dippy, do you, darlin’ as I am… I have to tell you an awful lot of the time we do it to ourselves.

Every day of your life you choose whether to let the voices in your head control your actions.  Maybe that voice sounds like a parent, a romantic partner or some moment when you felt small.  Some of us have an invisible yard stick that grew exponentially out of proportion.  As long as you keep using that as your touch point, you will never measure up.  So, why are you using it?  OOOh… Aunt Jane (who you hate) says XYZ and it makes me feel horrible so it must be true.  Say it out loud, because it’s going to sound just as idiotic.  Somewhere along the way, these are ideas that were embedded into your psyche and they become the background music to which you live your life.  You really want Aunt Jane in the driver’s seat?

Back to my thoughts about how we’re doing it to ourselves.  I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days and I have a little list of things.  We let the negative crap people have fed us our entire lives control how we approach life.  Stop it.  When I start off on a new venture, I’m usually terrified.  I don’t want to fall on my face… at least partly because there are people in my life who would so enjoy it.  You know what?  When I opened daycare eight years ago, I was petrified.  Somehow or another, it keeps working out.  I’m in the preparation phase of a new venture and I am scared out of my mind.  I’ve made up my mind to do it afraid.  Maybe I’ll succeed, maybe I’ll thrill the special snowflakes in my life with a vast, costly failure.  Holy cannoli, do I hope it’s that first one.

What’s the point, Miss Shannon???  The point is that you have to ignore all the reasons people have given you to fail and give it your best shot anyway.  Everybody has a narcissist or two in their world.  I have long said that when you are raised by wolves, you have two choices:  You either mire on down in the muck or you rise above it.  So what’s it gonna be?  Is the fact that you are female or gay or some shade of brown going to keep you pigeonholed, or are you going to grow a set and try to realize your dreams?

Awesome Painting Credit:

Old painting from around 2001 - "Voices in my head"

O Christmas Tree… Y’all Come Back and See us Again

SO… Casa gypsy got a tree. Much like everything else in my life, it was an experience.  I rounded up the troops, which included my fabulous five, pictured below.  We set off in the car for the twenty minute journey to Hewitts, my preferred tree buying location.  This is because one: the kids and I like walking through the Christmas land between the tree area and the store and two: they tie it to the car for me.  Now, Miss Shannon can surely tie it herself, but if I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that you should catch a break where you can.

family

So… Tug has trotted through the store touching everything, I got some new shiny objects and we set off.  I tipped the handsome youth who took an extraordinarily long time to tie that tree. I have roof racks, should be easy peasy.  I pulled onto Sitterly Road, and if you know Clifton Park at all… I wasn’t even to Twin Lakes when the minions are screaming, “Ma, the tree is falling off!!!!”

 

Awesome.

 

So I pull over, and I can’t help but laugh as my sixteen year old son starts freaking out that I’m in oncoming traffic.  “Get out of the road before you get hit by a car, Mama!!”  I can already see how my old age is going to be.  These kids think I’m a bloomin’ idiot.  Then he leaps on the roof of the car and ties that bad boy down.  Sideways, because that’s how it was turned and we couldn’t get the ropes untied.  Picture, if you will, a white SUV with a Powered by Bitchdust sticker, stuffed to the gills with kids and a tree tied to it sideways.  Like, sticking off.  KK.  At that point, the tree isn’t going anywhere because my son knows how to tie a knot, so off we went.

 

bitchdust

 

We made it ok and the tree is up a little crooked…Sounds about right.  I bought a gorgeous purple recliner today.  Love it.  I also baked cookies, made a pot of chili for my friends and neighbors striking down at Momentive and realized a new decorating scheme for my living room, because that’s how I roll.  I’m still on a Chris LeDoux kick… So… We got a five dollar fine for whinin’, We’ll tell you before you come in.  And if it ain’t on your mind to have a good time,  Ya’ll come back and see us again…

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This is my latest sparkly item… it’s living on my kitchen table.  Dozer will hate it, which is OK because we don’t make executive decisions together.  Sooner or later, we will.  I’m going to let him decorate the garage and the basement.  I think that;s totally generous.  He told me yesterday that when it’s his house, he’ll have a say about what furniture I buy.  Hehe.

sparkle

Watch Out When He Starts to Twist

New experiences enrich us.  I really think you should do something that scares the hell out of you at least once a week.  It’s how you grow as a person.  And read things, people.  Otherwise, you’re just stagnant and miring down in the muck.  Want to see me come unhinged???  Release a common mouse.  Holy cannoli, it’s over.  I will shriek like a little girl.  I call them tiny minions of death and I am sure they are plotting my demise.  My sister wants to catch and release the little plague bringers.  Once, I saw a mouse run across a pizza at a church function and the pastor had to save me while I screamed, it’s an alive thing!!!  Ugh.  I am sharing this with you because I would rather deal with a mouse than continue to shop for furniture with our good pal, Dozer.

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We continue to not make executive decisions together, make no mistake and don’t call me yelling.  You know who you are.  But, he needs a man chair at my house, which is filled with pretty things like slipper chairs and decorated with lions and tigers and dragons, oh my!  And apparently vagina pictures by Georgia O’Keefe.  (That’s art, man. Get it together.)  Anyway, he wants to put big, ugly corduroy furniture in my house.  No thank you, Mr. Dozer.  I found him a lovely chocolate brown recliner that vibrated and blended with my furniture.  Nope.  Then I found a dark purple non vibrating recliner…. Nope.  He needs the corduroy monstrosity to sit proudly in my living room next to my paisley printed couch and slipper chair.  Needs it like I need moisturizer.  So… I am getting an ugly, ugly chair.  Eww.  I will just cover it up with a pretty, feminine raggedy quilt.  Dozer says I have to recognize that he always wins and I should just be patient.   What in the sweet fuck is wrong with you that you even want corduroy furniture?  No one is winning here, cupcake.

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On a different note, please know that I generally think this blog is a lot of prattle.  Sometimes it’s a lot of fun, sometimes it’s another chore.  I’ve seen some serious nastiness from certain corners of my world… and other times people have exposed a piece of their soul to me.  I get hate mail.  I’m quite proud of that.  Sometimes, I’m just entertained by whatever I’m nattering on about, sometimes it’s burning a hole in me so big you could drive a Mack truck through it.  Today my little hobby broke 90 thousand hits.  If you’re running a site like www.thebloggess.com  that’s totally small potatoes.  For Miss Shannon, more than 90,000 times someone has wanted to know what I had to say.  Now, I’m channeling Chris LeDoux this week (which is probably going to make me talk about a boy I knew in school) and here’s what I’ve got to say…  You’ll ride a black tornado ‘cross the western sky…long before you’ll take this keyboard back.

tornado