Miss Shannon is pretty much wiped out. Many, many things have happened lately that I’m not going to really go into detail about, but suffice it to say that when push comes to shove, you’re going to find out who your friends are. In my experience, the people who cause the most damage are those you have trusted, shared your soul with and believed in. Any good writer will tell you that the first and most important part of fiction is creating the desire to suspend disbelief. This is true for any good sheister, as well. It’s the very foundation of betrayal… you have to have a reasonable expectation that someone is on your team in order for them to betray you.
Dozer and I are fine and dandy. While we happily drive each other crazy, I want to talk a wee little bit about how to have a grown up relationship with a significant other. The hard part is finding someone you want to make crazy. Once you locate that person, it really shouldn’t be hard. You need to pitch in, stand up and do the right thing. Like… boys, mow the lawn. How hard can it be? Girls, it will actually not kill you to fold his clothes now and then. Don’t bitch to me about the sexual revolution, would you seriously rather mow the lawn?? Or (eww) change the oil??? Really, what I’m saying is that you have to give as much as you receive… and then some. I don’t actually care whether the innie or the outie mows the lawn.
Here’s how to make a romantic relationship work: Tell the truth. If you can’t be honest, why the hell are you with them?? Don’t fuck other people and don’t try to fuck other people. Pretty straight forward. Don’t use meth, crack or heroin. Do stuff that makes them happy… Like… the thing about me that makes Dozer the absolute craziest is that tv remotes come up missing in my house. To me, it’s like the sock vortex in the dryer and I don’t actually care, but it bugs him a lot so I try to keep track of the remotes. I cook for him and go out of my way to make his favorites, like blueberry pie and kitchen sink soups. This usually involves whatever veggies are thinking about going bad and a big can of diced tomatoes… lentils, that sort of thing. Nothing says I love you like a hot meal and clean underwear.
I prefer two way streets, so he does things that are important to me like throwing the ball with my kid and negotiating at garage sales for me. He grills a damned good steak and does his best to catch me when I fall. Whatever you negotiate in a relationship is fine my me… Just know these things: You have to be an I before you can be a We. You have to be able to stand on your own two feet, know you can go it alone and the person in your life is an enhancement, never a need. Then go forth, find the fluff for your peanut butter and give 110%, all the time. If you need to keep secrets or have to posture… maybe this isn’t your time.