Hello, my name is Shannon and I’m a control freak. I helped with an event and I was not running the show, which highlights my crazy in a way that you probably can’t appreciate because (you lucky little cupcake) you are not inside my head with me. To give you a snapshot, I’m currently holding a traditional Irish wake for a cat. Really, I can’t make this stuff up. We buried Olivia in Mary Grace’s back yard, quite near Boston (another family pet), and Tugs required us to salute her. Hunter required prayer, and Brenna flipped shit because Luke threw a clod of dirt onto Miss Kitty. RIP Olivia… sadly, I think your brother will join you soon. Mary Grace is my former mother in law, who is always willing to host my dead pets in her yard. Creepy, right? So, what we’ve learned thus far is that my entire family is as bat shit crazy as me, which makes total sense as I built them.
Anyway, I lent a hand in producing Dozer’s parents’ fiftieth anniversary party. Fifty years is amazing to me… the kind of love that must mean. I’m often amazed Dozer lets me live to see another day, let alone fifty years, and the feeling is usually mutual. There were a few snags and some wiggling around at the last minute, including when I got some especially itchy nature all over me while picking wildflowers with a couple of very cool kids. At the end of the day, it was a lovely gathering filled with love and laughter despite the persistent rainfall. One of Dozer’s best friends told me that he has NEVER been to a party at their house when it didn’t rain. I’ve been trying to hook this guy up with my friend, Amy, for literally years, but they are both stubbornly resisting. Note to self and others: Listen to the crazy, gypsy women in your life. We may be unable to manage ourselves, but we know what you should be doing.
If you knew this blog before it went to Hell and back, you know I met Dozer on Plenty of Fish. We had no plans to be in a relationship together, and here we are, saying the M word. I broke every single one of my dating rules while hooking up with this one. On one hand, rules exist for a reason… on the other, they’re made to be broken. I’m not sorry. Personal happiness is elusive for many of us. This is because we arbitrarily assign values and policies to the universe at large…. Like my two pals who are goddamn perfect for each other but both have a stupid policy about “fix ups.” Shut up and go to the same party. For him, that girl is a cowboy. You should be so lucky. For her, this one is like a phoenix, he rises from the ashes and thrives every time. When the people who love you are extra pushy about something, pay attention.
Remember, friends, Miss Shannon usually only tells you what NOT to do. This is entirely untrue if we are running an event, in which case just do what I am telling you to do. I have an internal timeline and it is correct. Otherwise, I will commonly only share my own experience. If I am flat out saying, please give this a whirl… maybe try to remember I say that like once a decade and give it a whirl. Because I love you. And you both know all the old songs and share the same values and for fuck’s sake, I have never known two people who needed to meet more. We’re too old for fiftieth anniversaries, but not for happily ever after.