My sister and I went shopping the other day for Halloween. Got a little of this and a little of that, a shopping victory for all. She was plugging the very nice gentleman I’ve been texting with because she is very happily married and thinks everyone should be. This is a picture of us when we were little.
One major difference between me and my sister is our feelings about romance. She’s a go get ‘em kind of girl, thinks that everyone has a soul mate and that happily ever after is your destination if you will just be open to it. She tried to claim that it’s because of her hubby, who is truly fabulous, but it isn’t. She has always had stars in her eyes and a basic ability (and willingness) to suspend disbelief, very necessary in all fictional endeavors. This is a picture of Mary and AJ.
Me…. I don’t totally believe in romantic love. I like chick flicks as much as the next girl, I’ve enjoyed every proposal I’ve ever received and I absolutely adore it when a man holds the door for me. I just don’t believe in destiny. I think there are any number of people on this very large Earth that I could be compatible with. This is the Earth.
Being in a romantic relationship requires compromise. That can be wonderful…. You have experiences you might not otherwise, learn things about yourself, etc. For example, I damn near married a man who was happily decimating my life. At his insistence, I learned to shoot. I really enjoy it. Had I not been willing to give in to his desire to share a part of his life I had little to no interest in, I would never have discovered a hobby I truly enjoy. On the flip side, I spent a lot of hours trapped places I didn’t want to be with people whose company I didn’t enjoy. At the end of the day. The good has to outweigh the bad.
I truly love to see people happily in love. I always hope that they are just as happy in forty years. You have to be self-sacrificing to make that happen. I kind of don’t want to do that. I like myself when I’m single. I lose something inside of a relationship…. I call it me. But the end of the day, I find it easier to walk away than to fight for equality in a relationship.
That same sister likes to tell me that I’m a good catch and sooner or later, someone is going to catch me. I tell her to stop threatening me. I’m a butterfly… and butterflies are free to fly…. Fly away, high away…. (I believe this so strongly that I tattooed it on myself)
So, gentleman callers, word to the wise. Trying to get my sister (who I love, who wants me to hitch myself eternally to the nearest penis because she truly believes it’ll make me happy) to champion your cause is counterproductive. It makes me run like a hellhound is on my heels. This is a hellhound.
Soul Asylum – Runaway Train
Elton John – Someone Saved My Life Tonight